Ufo                                                                                                                                      

Guyana gyal  

                                  Annie see a UFO yesterday afternoon!        Guyana-Gyal

That is, she see the UFO vicariously.
She see the people who see the UFO and they tell she about it.
She phone me right away. My mother answer the phone. My mother laugh uproariously and call to me, she voice bubbling with amusement and doubt. You would think she woulda believe though, because she did see a Genuwine, Real, Authentic UFO in the sixties. (But that is another story for another day.)
Annie can’t contain she excitement, it overflowing from she phone into me ears, into we living room. “Is a whole big group o’ people in the street who see the UFO. John who was in another street nearby phoned me to say he saw it too!”

“You see it Annie? Eh? Eh? You see it?”

“No, I ain’t see it but people see it. They ain’t know what it is. They say is a UFO.”

I ain’t bother to tell she that any object that is flying and is unidentifiable got to be a unidentifiable and unidentified flying object.
 “Annie,” I say, injecting great objectivity and calm into my voice, “maybe is somebody flying in a balloon.”
“Who gon fly in a balloon over here, eh? Who?”

“Foreigners.”

“Why they would fly over here?”

“I dunno, you know how them white folks does do strange things .”

“I never hear about that.”

(Look at my crosses! I tell people facts and they ain’t believe me.) “Well, there you go,” I say. “So this could very well be somebody flying in a balloon.”

“It ain’t look like a balloon, they say it flying in a vee shape.”

“Oh, that sound like somebody sky diving…”

“Nobody ain’t skydiving here, nobody ain’t see any parachute.”

“Not with a parachute, with them things that spread out like bird wings.”

“Man G, what is wrong with you, nobody ain’t skydiving over here…”

At that point I realise that Annie want to believe that is a Real, Genuwine, Authentic UFO.

“Annie, you want to believe that is a UFO! Oh my gosh, you want to believe!”

“Yes! What is wrong with you? Why you can’t believe that aliens want to contact

earth, eh? Why not Guyana?”

 

Guyana gyal

             

 Guyana-Gyal

                                               Channel 2 and the blue tennis ball

I don’t know the origin of the story, who tell somebody who tell my first big brother who thoroughly aggravate me with it. But two nights ago I experience a modern, literal twist to the tale of the blue tennis ball.

Me and ma been watching a’ African movie, On Bended Knees. Man love he wife ‘til the day he believe that she was unfaithful. He ill-treat she and kick she out. Then years later the man discover that the wife never cheat on he.

Five minutes or so left for the movie to end.

Braps. The movie cut.

“The movie will continue after News Break,” a notice say.

“This is just like the blasted blue tennis ball,” I quarrel.

“Whaz that?” ma ask.

“A boy had to write Common Entrance exams. He daddy promise he, son, if you pass you exams I gon buy you a nice, nice gift. The son think, aaah, I gon get a Bullohvah or Ohmeegah watch. Thoughts of the watch full up he head, that alone make he pass he exams.

He father say, son, now is time for your gift. The son tear open paper, pull open box, heart-racing. Then he heart nearly stop. No expensive watch been in the box. Only a blue tennis ball.

The son ask, daddy, why you buy me a blue tennis ball? The father say, son, one day you gon find out.

The son write ‘O’ Levels. The father promise he a wonderful gift. The son think, aaah, now I gon get me Bullohvah or Ohmeegah watch.

The son pass he exams. And the father buy he a blue tennis ball. When the son ask why, the father say, son, one day you gon know.

The son write ‘A’ Levels. The father say, son, I gon buy you a fabulous gift. The son think, I know I ain’t gon get the Bullohvah watch or the Ohmeegah watch. But you never know, I might get a car this time…

He pass he exams. The father buy he a blue tennis ball. The son ask why, the father say, son, one day you gon know.

And so the son story go - he move on to university, write exams, graduate, find a great job, marry, get children. And every time he achieve, the father does give he a blue tennis ball.

Old age take over the father, he get sick, gone in hospital. The son visit he.

The son ask, daddy, tell me nah…why you always buy me a blue tennis ball? Why daddy, why?

The father look at he son, well son, y’see…is like this…aaahhh… And the father dead.”

While I tell ma this story them bleddy news break and repair, mud road turn to pitch-road and cow give birth to kyat and…

…Channel 2 switch off…a blue screen appear.

 Guyana-Gyal