Merry Wives

Diversions Recipes

The merry wives of Mondello

Linen union, made in Ireland

A tea clothe from Ireland with a story on it,
about a mother's letter to a son.

dear son,.
just a few lines to let you know i am still alive.
I am writing this slowly because I know that you can't read fast.
You won't know the house when you come home, we've moved..
About yr father..he has got a lovely new job.
He has 500 men under him,he cuts grass at the cemetery. Your sister Mary had a baby this morning I haven't found out yet whether its a boy or a girl so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle.
I went to the doctors on Thursday and your father came with me. The doctor put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to talk for 10 mins.
your father offered to buy it from him..
Yr uncle Patrick drowned last week in a vat of Irish whiskey at the Dublin brewery.Some of his workmates tried to save him but he fought them off bravely.
They cremated him and it took 3 days to put the fire out.
It only rained twice this week..first for 3 days then for 4 days
We had a letter from the undertaker.. He said if the last payment on your grandmother's plot wasn't paid in 7 days,up she comes.
Your loving Mother.
P:S: I was going to send u 5 pounds but i have already sealed the envelope

couldnt sleep all night. What did Goggin say?

A message for me

Gail : goodmorning.hot hot hot....... help. Couldn't u sleep thinking of Goggin ? I told goggi to stop being a fucking bitch and repent...ask Angela for perdono...she just laughed in A ngel's face..a bit embaressed I think..but didn't repent. A hard nut. It was all said in a joke

…….

Gail : i'll give u some juice when u come on line

BUZZ!!!

Gail : talk to me.. stop writing poems

On line

ME: listen

ME: this is the story of the tree on the small courtyard of the my neighbour, beneath my window

Gail : hear only birds ringing; well, u never learn, i'm used to be greeted in the morning, and kissed at night, u just fucken well go straight into wot uuuuuuuuuuuuu want

ME: couple of years ago he and his fucking wife called an archictect to redesign their home

Gail : bloody uneducated, poor wifey

ME: (good morning gail, how are you ?)

Gail : too late

ME: (everything comes for whom who can wait)

Gail : u've got a nasty character..no juice. I can't wait. First things first. Remember: try to be kind and respectful

ME: Fucking architect spoiled everything . He cut the tree and made a stony courtyard.

Gail : ok: don't listen to me, no juice

ME: He wanted some new horrible tiles on the floor of the rooms , to replace the old Venetian style ones. Neighbours called a team of workmen from their town in Romagna, who made a horrible noise for one whole year.

One morning a radiator nearly fell down in my house due to vibration. After a quarrel with with wifey and the workmen , I went out ,bought a new radiator , carried it home on my shoulders and replaced the old one myself. As soon as the neighbour had all the house done, he had a crash wish a car while biking and nearly died. Incidentally I haven't seen him here lately. Then the architect fell sick and died.

Do not touch the tree under my window.

Gail : did u put a spell on him voodoo. Admit admit

ME: Shall I add pics of the courtyard and send to this story to Goggin ? did she mention me ?

Gail : yes we spoke about u

Gail : but she was admiring my avocado stone in water trying to make shoots...she was saying about it being a phallus symbol..so i told her u would draw her one. Or even better send her a pic. She laughed. I said she might faint..having not seen one for some time time. But u weren't on line

ME: well , I' ll work on her .

Gail : u don't know wot u missed. She was in good humour

ME: you pick the pic I have to send her

Gail : now that really would hurt

ME: so what do you suggest ? I put it all in your hands

Gail : will it all go in my hands or only in a nutshell ?

ME: you will tell me her last minute mood, before I mail her , I write down the sexy and the romantic letter, ready to be send

Gail : write or wrote?

ME: letters not written yep , I keep waiting for your suggestions

ME: dear Mary .... or

ME: Sweet pussy

ME: Now I go cycling

Gail : don't fall off , don't get sunburnt, don't dream of Goggin

ME: Goggin's bum too heavy to bring uphill

Gail : nope, saw it yesterday its quite little, not half as big as the one u showed me

ME: oh good news then . Goggin went on diet.

Gail : never had a big bum, that's all in yr head

ME: How could I dream about a bum I never saw ? Do not deny you told me about her big bum.

ME: uhmmm for some reason I suspect Goggin will kill you soon

Gail : i suppose u r writing all this down

Gail : haven't said anything that's not true

ME: beekety baakety bookety

HOW TO PICK A TORTOISE - ASK GAIL

Gail: he wants his breakfast, give him some lettuce. I lost my tortoise the red eared one..maybe it's him. check it out

Strudel: they stole yours. go see the pet-shop

Gail: he has a red stripe on each side of face

Gail: found him in the road to Sciacca, lives in the palude, the swamp. I gave him a nice pond, but got out and ran away. Dug under neath the netting, think he's gone next door to the lawyer

Strudel : you should have tied a red ribbon

Gail: when gardener found him last year he was fucking frightened of him. Now he's run away again

Strudel : they can chomp your finger indeed

Gail: only if u don't know how to pick him up, get him from the back

Strudel : HOW TO PICK A TORTOISE - ASK GAIL

Gail: yep

Strudel : WHAT DO YOU MEAN WITH THE BACK ? HOLD TAIL AND PULL?

Gail: from the back, hold him in middle of shell

Strudel : OKAY YOU POSITION YOURSELF BACK OF HIM , THEN ?

Gail: read

Strudel : YOUR HAND UNDER HIS BELLY?

Gail: nooooooooo

Gail: one hand, fingers each side of shell

Strudel : GRIP HIS SHELL ?

Gail: hold on tight

Gail: he will wiggle

Strudel : SHELL WILL COME OUT

Gail: his little legs will start moving fast

Strudel : AND TORTOISE WILL BREAK

Gail: like the big eagles

Strudel : I AM NOT SURE HE WILL APPRECIATE

Gail: they pick up tortoises take them up high in the air and then let go...they fall and break...gobble gobble gobble

Strudel : SOUP 'S READY

WATCHING CROCS

GAIL : WATCHING CROCS

CRICKET: LET ME FIND SOMETHING NICE TO READ , FIRST

GAIL : CROCODILES

CRICKET: ANOTHER BORING DOCUMENTARY ABOUT LIONS AND CROCS

GAIL : THIS IS A LEGEND

GAIL : HE'S ENORMOUS

GAIL : THEY CAN'T FIND HIM

GAIL : LOC CROC LESS MONSTER

CRICKET: IT'S INFLATED RUBBER FOR BOLLYWOOD

GAIL : 45 FT WIDE

GAIL : DIDN'T CAUGHT THE LENGHT

GAIL : CATCH

CRICKET: CROCO IS AN ACTOR

GAIL : LOOKING FOR HIM FROM BALLOON

GAIL : WOW SEEN HIM

GAIL : ENORMOUS

CRICKET: LET US GO HUNTING . LOT OF BAGS AND SHOES

GAIL : FAT

CRICKET: PASTAAAAAAAAA

CRICKET: ITALIAN CROC

GAIL : MORE THAN 18 FT LONG

CRICKET: PUT A PINCH OF SALT ON HIS TAIL

CRICKET: SEE WHAT A BIG BALLOON FLOATING UP ON THE AIR --- SAID BABY-CROC TO MAMA-CROC

GAIL : THEY WANT TO CATCH CROCCY

CRICKET: CROCCY FELL IN LOVE WITH HUNTER'S SECRETARY .CROCCY ALWAYS BEHIND THEM

GAIL : YEP SHE'S PRETTY

GAIL : CROC SMELL AS FAR AS 4 MILES AWAY

GAIL : THEY NEVER CATCH HIM

GAIL : SHE'S IN THE CAGE

GAIL : HE'LL GO YUMMP

GAIL : BIG PIECE OF FOOD

CRICKET: SECRETARY FELL IN LOVE TOO, SHE ROAST CHICKS FOR CROCCY EVERY DAY

GAIL : CHISKS TOO FUCKING SMALL

GAIL : WANT A HIPPO

GAIL : A WEEK HAS PASSED SINCE THE CAGE HAS BEEN PUT IN PLACE

GAIL : HE'S HAUNTING THE SCENE FURBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

GAIL : HE'S KILL A COW

GAIL : HIPPOS EATING CARCUS

GAIL : KATUMBA

GAIL : LET'S SEE WHERE IT IS ON GOOGLE EARTH

CRICKET: - CANNOT GIVE YOU A HYPPO , DARLING .ONLY CHICKS. DOC ORDERED ON DIET

GAIL : ZAMBIA

GAIL : HERE HE IS

GAIL : EATEN A MAN

GAIL : OF THE VILLAGE

GAIL : NO CHICKS ONLY MEN

GAIL : DROWNED HIM DIDN'T EAT DIDN'T LIKE THE TASTE

CRICKET: NO WOMEN ? TOO DIFFICULT TO DIGEST ?

GAIL : YEP

GAIL : SCRUBBED CAGE

CRICKET: GIVE CROCCY FILLET WITH BOMB

GAIL : SCIENTISTS HAVE COME UP WITH OTHER EQUIPMENT

GAIL : THEY WANT HIM ALIVE

GAIL : TO STUDY HIM

GAIL : 4 DIFFERENT TRAPS

CRICKET: SHOULD FIND A PROPER WIFE FOR CROCCY

GAIL : TRAP GOT BABY CROC

CRICKET: ADD SLEEPING PILLS TO RIVER

GAIL : GUSTO CROCS NAME

GAIL : ALL SLEEPY CROCS

GAIL : SLEEPY FISH

GAIL : LIVE BATE

GAIL : YESSSSSSSSSSSS A CHICKEN

CRICKET: OR A SHEEP

GAIL : NO RESULT YET

GAIL : ADDS R ON

GAIL : U LIKE MY STORY

CRICKET: DOESN'T CRFOCCY GO OFF BED ?

GAIL : YEP

GAIL : NOT FAR

CRICKET: MAY BE YOU LEND THEM YOUR FALCON?

GAIL : MAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

GAIL : MAYBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

GAIL : THEY GOT A WHITE CHICKEN HANGING UPSIDE DOWN

GAIL : ON ONE LEG

CRICKET: PYRATE CHICK ???

CRICKET: CAN'T FOLLOW

GAIL : ???????????

CRICKET: WHAT'S DOING THE CHICK?

GAIL : FUCKING HELL THEY'VE PUT LIVE GOAT IN CAGE

CRICKET: ON ONE LEG ?

GAIL : STANDING UP

CRICKET: AND THE CHICK ?

GAIL : NO CHICK

CRICKET: WHAT HAPPENED TO ONE LEG WHITE CHICK?

CRICKET: THEY GOT A WHITE CHICKEN HANGING UPSIDE DOWN

GAIL : ON ONE LEG

CRICKET: LIAR

GAIL : JONNY ATE IT

CRICKET: PREFER EGG NOW, THEN CHICK LATER

GAIL : CAGE ON LAND

GAIL : CRAWFTY CROC

GAIL : BROKEN THEIR TRAP HAHAHAHAH

GAIL : 3 DAYS LEFT TO CATCH CROC

CRICKET: ... EYYY PPSSTTTTT GOAT , COME OUT THAT CAGE, LET'S HAVE A BATH

CRICKET: 3 DAYS ?

CRICKET: THEN CROCCY WILL START ANOTHER MOVIE

GAIL : GOT TO GO ARMY WON'T REINSURE

GAIL : NO CROC

GAIL : CROC WISER

CRICKET: AAARRGGGGGHHHH THEY GOT OLE CROC'S MAMA IN-LAW

GAIL : HAVEN'T SEEN CROC SINCE CAGE WAS BROKEN

GAIL : MAYBE GOAT GAVE HIM INDIGESTION

CRICKET: BUT MAMA-CROC IN THEIR HANDS !!! BLACKMAIL

CRICKET: CROCCY FOR CROCCIA

JONNY: do you know the game of the sheperd , goat, wolf and cabbage ? : uh?

GAIL: nop

JONNY: well, listen

GAIL: pio pio

JONNY: sheperd must transport everything to the other side of the river

GAIL: shepherd

JONNY: not enough room for all in his boat

ONNY: sheep owner

JONNY: how did he manage ?

GAIL: yep

GAIL: goat eats cabbage

GAIL: wolf eats goat

JONNY: then

JONNY: taxman eats shepherd

GAIL: shepherd killed wolf and went across together

GAIL: 2 men in a boat

JONNY: but there was a hole bottom of the boat

JONNY: two men ?

JONNY: goat was a gay guy ?

GAIL: ever heard of the book two men in a boat

JONNY: when I was a kid they were 3

JONNY: what happened to the third one ?

JONNY: gone with the dog ?

GAIL: eaten by the wolf

JONNY: where is the cabbage now? in a fridge?

JONNY: goat ate all papers . No more bills to pay

GAIL: cabbage in goat in wolf in boat

JONNY: when the taxman away nobody will pay

JONNY: did you see my goat?- asked the shepherd to the wolf

JONNY: - Listen, man- It was the cabbage who ate your goat. - replied the wolf

GAIL: u gone mad, man

JONNY: The shepherd roasted the wolf and his guests had wolf filled with goat filled with cabbage

PUMPKIN PIE

GAIL : finished yr walk?

STRUDEL: give pumkin recipe

STRUDEL: pumpik on fashion

GAIL : pumkin pie in recipe book

GAIL : have to look it up but not now

GAIL : pumpkin

STRUDEL: what a chef !!!!

GAIL : tried once .it was horrid

GAIL : thru down bog

STRUDEL: try another one

STRUDEL: pumpkin filled with ...

GAIL : pumpkin only good for agro dolce

STRUDEL: give fucking agro-dolce then

GAIL : slice..fry..then pour on agro dolce sauce

STRUDEL: ingredients

STRUDEL: of sauce

STRUDEL: move on

STRUDEL: pumpkin is waiting

GAIL : sugar aceto

STRUDEL: lump of sugar down a the vinegar's bottle ?

GAIL : garlic

GAIL : fool

GAIL : fry garlic

GAIL : add sugar

STRUDEL: I am frying

GAIL : pour in wine vinigar

GAIL : and reduce

GAIL : pour over fried pumpkin

STRUDEL: aand if haven't got a pumpkin what will do?

GAIL : fuck off

Mary and the Vicar

What did God say to His sheperd ?
-Not too much raping, fellow, only humans.-

Mary and the Vicar

I am not a fucking octopus

oh i thought u were a fucking cricket

JONNY: ha ha , you hiding me to your friends . Am I the Black Ship ? shame on Gail

GAIL: talking to Mary Goggin.About rice. No news yet

GAIL: Rice and lentles……………

JONNY: yummy , cheap and nice - Lentles and rice

JONNY: where is my little Mary ? with you ? on phone ?

GAIL: yep she's coming for lunch one day this week

MARY AND THE VICAR

JONNY: supply secret gossips

GAIL: can't tell u secrets, u r dangerous

JONNY: let secrets come out the Dark House, through the chimney

JONNY: was Goggin a nun once ?

GAIL: never

JONNY: did she rape pupils ?

GAIL: not sure

JONNY: sister Peepy Mary

GAIL: she liked vicars

JONNY: did she confess her sins to Vicar ?

GAIL: maybe she sinned with him

JONNY: and got spanked by the Vicar for her sins ?

GAIL: wasn't there, maybe

GAIL: they sinned together

JONNY: no Holy Marys, lower your pants Goggin

GAIL: were to be married

JONNY: In that little wooden room ? confessionale

GAIL: maybe

GAIL: but he left her for a younger woman

JONNY: Vicar went to his bishop begging to be freed?

GAIL: went back to England and married straight away

JONNY: where all this happened ? down that little village where Goggin was born ?

JONNY: did Goggin try to commit suicide ?

GAIL: in Scily a few years ago

JONNY: a FEW years ago? uhmmm was the vicar an English catholic one ?

GAIL: English protestant

GAIL: he was here in the english church

GAIL: Anglican

JONNY: oh Mary !!! a double sinner you are. Hunting for a protestant vicar

JONNY: what was the man's name ? father Brown?

JONNY: how did they meet ?

GAIL: can't remember, horrible dirty man with a horrible dirty dog that peed everywhere

GAIL: dirty tie

GAIL: full of dinner drips

GAIL: gravy

GAIL: ugggggggggggggggggggggggggggg

GAIL: dirty tie

GAIL: all vicars have dirty ties

JONNY: why didn't he take Mary then ? did he met some rich spinster from England ?

JONNY: a spinster with a villa and a large garden with many trees for the vicar's dog

GAIL: yes, he took poor Mary for a ride

JONNY: that's why Pope forbids tie and marriage to his priests. Dirty stuff.

JONNY: perhaps the vicar's dog didn't like Mary and threatened to leave . Either me or Mary- said the dog. JONNY: What was that dog's name ?

GAIL: boooooooooooooooooooooo

GAIL: didn't like ipocrite vicar or his dog

GAIL: not at all a man of God

JONNY: Call Goggin and ask dog’s name. Tell her you are short of sugar

GAIL: well it's true,,but Goggin won't have any sugar

JONNY: what kind of a vicar he was ? and did he shake hands outdoor on Sundays?

GAIL: took service only on Sundays

GAIL: went to sea with Mary

GAIL: nasty man

JONNY: Goggin to Vicar at tea time - How many spoons, dear? ask whatever , I am giving you none-

GAIL: yep

JONNY: I coould never been a protestant. Fucking vicars shake dirty hands all time on Sundays

JONNY: And one day the vicar had enough of lentles

JONNY: I wonder how could Goggin be the wife of a Vicar. They are supposed to give their money to the poor . She would pretend she couldn't find a single poor to give her money in all town.

GAIL: Goggin is catholic

GAIL: maybe

JONNY: but she was supposed to convert . I presume

GAIL: seems all the people I know who have a wicked streak in them are religious, have

JONNY: good Archibishop Of Canterbury wouldn't allow a mixed marriage

GAIL: maybe for this he abbandoned her

GAIL: an English woman did her best to grab him, she mangaged as well, in a few months

JONNY: I am astonished. English and Irish females love dirty ties

JONNY: all maniacs

GAIL: ugggggggggggg

JONNY: religiuos maniacs

GAIL: going for dinner

GAIL: rice and lentles

GAIL: chicken

DO A CAULIFLOWER CHEESE

JONNY: who's taking care of you?
JONNY: Goggin?
GAIL: actually Goggin has been to see me twice
GAIL: she has repented
GAIL: she wants to go to heaven
GAIL: She brought me a white cauliflower yesterday
GAIL: wanna come to dinner?
JONNY: lentles ?
GAIL: next time maybe
JONNY: I just bought a green cauliflower, teach recipe

GAIL: do a cauliflower cheese

JONNY: what cheese ?
GAIL: tastey, cheddar
JONNY: shall I boil the cauli ?
GAIL: yes
GAIL: in florettes
JONNY: cheddar
GAIL: put in pan
GAIL: make cheese sauce
JONNY: cheese in slices?
GAIL: with milk and chese and a little bit a flour to thicken
JONNY: what's a cheese sauce ???
GAIL: ahhhhhhhhhhhh
JONNY: add the sauce to cauli
GAIL: put grayed chees in pan with milk and flour stir till boils add salt and pepper to taste
GAIL: grated
GAIL: cheese
GAIL: pour onto cauliflower
GAIL: put in oven to brown
GAIL: yummy
JONNY: all together we brown
GAIL: pur cheese sauce on top of cauli
GAIL: pour
GAIL: put in oven to brown you thick man
………………….

JONNY: what fucking papers Goggin wants to be translated ?
GAIL: porno
GAIL: bums
JONNY: personal use ?
GAIL: yep
JONNY: to be published ?
JONNY: personal
GAIL: don't publish this, I 'll kill you

MY LORD, SHE CALLED ME A FUCKING WHORE

GAIL- good morning well u cycling, it is sunny today
GAIL - -wot about with u
JONNY-arrgghhhhh cloudyyyyyyyyyy
JONNY-for now
GAIL - -come to sunny Gail
JONNY-Goggin did not repent enough . We pay in clouds for her sins
GAIL - -wot r yr sunday plans
JONNY-waiting for the sun ..i want to cycleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
GAIL - -bad forcast 4 u
GAIL - -rain rain rain
GAIL - -yesterday they were swimming from Mondello beach..very hot day

...........................

GAIL - a sock?
GAIL - -Hey! Put a sock in it!
GAIL - -yeeeeeeeeeeeeee i guess so
JONNY-want some to mend ?
JONNY-hole ready for you
GAIL - -nop
GAIL - -throw away
GAIL - -don't be such a miser
GAIL - -u sew it
JONNY-socks were made by god to be mended
GAIL - -by you
GAIL - -by the owner
GAIL - -lazy man
JONNY-when adam sow and Eve mend ..remenber ?
JONNY-mending keeps a woman busy
GAIL - -u sowwwwwwwwwwww wheat grain barley cabbages
GAIL - -but u sewwwwwwwwwwwwwww socks idiot
GAIL - -get it?
JONNY-drop it
JONNY-good biking socks are fucking expensive
JONNY-need low paid manpower to mend
JONNY-apply
GAIL - -sold house ..buy socks
JONNY-tell me about your previous mending experience
GAIL - -pay wifey
GAIL - -don't mend
GAIL - -no men, no socks
GAIL - -mine go in the bin
GAIL - -must send to Jonny to mend ok?
JONNY-I lost my needle in a straw hat
GAIL - -good excuse
GAIL - -mine in a haystack
JONNY-why do they write -DO NOT BEND - on envelopes ?
GAIL - -booooooooooooooooo -cause they don't go through machine well
JONNY-else the Postman will pinch your bum
……………

GAIL - -waiting for fucking postman to bring me my Afghanistan scarf..he's stolen it

………………..
JONNY-what did the cup say to the coffee-machine?
GAIL - -cup said fill it up man
JONNY-cup said – drop it
GAIL - -into the cup
GAIL - -fill me up
……………..
GAIL - -my God. how do i get the window of yahoo smaller now?
GAIL - -tell me how to get smaller
GAIL - -its on whole screen
JONNY-join Alice in wonderland
JONNY-through the key hole
JONNY-drink pigmean juice
JONNY-knock your head with a hammer
JONNY-cut your legs
GAIL - -come on Jonni I need help
JONNY-More ?
GAIL - -yep
GAIL - -still big I want it smaller
JONNY-you are small on my screen
GAIL - -doesn't change
GAIL - -well better close down yahoo and get back in
GAIL - -ok done it
GAIL - -u have a different version from me
GAIL - -every time
GAIL - -what u got the latest or the oldest
JONNY-same
GAIL - -here tells me everytime u have a different version from me
JONNY-It ' s because I am living in the North
GAIL - -ha ha
………………………
GAIL - dark?
GAIL - -sunny here
GAIL - -yr in the wrong place in the world
GAIL - -catch a plane
JONNY-I thought I were
JONNY-Introduce me the girla first
GAIL - -wots wrong with me
JONNY-throw an on line party
JONNY-I am a man of experience
GAIL - u throw me away?
JONNY-I want alternatives when you start boring me
JONNY-Jony do this
JONNY-Jonny do that
GAIL - -ah start,,so I haven't yet?
JONNY-Jonny take a walk
JONNY-Jonny let me watch sopa opera
JONNY-no soccer
GAIL – I like soccer
JONNY-no spaghetti tonight
GAIL - -fresh food not pasta
JONNY-I want alternatives
JONNY-runaways
GAIL - -u can run away from me
JONNY-one woman all time may be dangerous for my wellfare
GAIL - -u can't keep up the pace..that's wots wrong with u
JONNY-where to shelter in the run away ?
GAIL - -women too resistant
JONNY-need chicks
GAIL - Jonny not hahaha
JONNY-they will show simpathy
JONNY—Oh, that Gail is really thick
GAIL - -poor JONNY needs simpathy
JONNY-
JONNY-- Did she cook pies for you ?
GAIL - -
JONNY-Rest on my bum - will say Mary Goggin
JONNY-eat my spaghetti - will say lthe anlady
GAIL - -
GAIL - -u r spaghetti crazy
JONNY-who will suck my toes ?
GAIL - -um like that
JONNY-time ago I send Goggin a sketch showing a woman on her knees cleaning a resting man's shoes
GAIL - -no wonder she clikked out
JONNY-Gggin got no sense of humour
GAIL - -right
GAIL - -maybe she'll come today to me
GAIL - -want to send her a message?
GAIL - -a kiss?
GAIL - -a banana
JONNY-lentles and fried sausage
GAIL - -a sausage
JONNY-yummy
GAIL - -she doesn't buy meat
GAIL - -only eats it in other people's houses
GAIL - -mine for example
JONNY-serve her a sausage for lunch
GAIL - -only scallopine today
GAIL - -plus veg
JONNY-and what for Mary ?
JONNY-cabbage ?
GAIL - -minestra
JONNY-beans ?
GAIL - -mixed
JONNY-assorted
GAIL - -yep
GAIL - -findus
JONNY-frozen minestrone
GAIL - -not minestra
JONNY-minestrone will slim her bum
JONNY-this is the message
GAIL - -go ahead
GAIL - -ok
GAIL - -got it

….

GAIL - -Mary no glasses
GAIL - -blue eyes
GAIL - -pretty face
GAIL - -but bad temper
JONNY-I like to spank ladies with a bad temper
GAIL - -she'd like it
JONNY-let her read this conversation and add comments
GAIL - -not the type
GAIL - -no time for stupid things like that
GAIL - -she needs intelligent conversation
GAIL - -she's being sued at the moment
GAIL - -want to now why
GAIL - -walking down the street Goggin bumped into her x's wife, she threw a few swear words at her..now the woman is sueing her heheheh
GAIL - -getting a lawyer
GAIL - -she's uptight
JONNY-tell me everything about Mary and her rival , I want to write the story
JONNY-serious
GAIL - -believe she's a culprit
JONNY-you would edit the stuff
GAIL - -no
JONNY-yeeessssssssssssssss
JONNY-pleasseeeeeeeeeeee
GAIL - -private life of Goggin

JONNY-no real names
JONNY-Eleanor Brown
JONNY-Telllll

GAIL - -liar
JONNY-promiseeeeeeeeeee
GAIL - -6 year old story coming into the court cases now
JONNY-6 years ago Mary met her rival ...
GAIL - -she said in the street to this lady fucking whore,,now being sued
GAIL - -must be a wittness
GAIL - -Goggin mad
JONNY-what did she exatly say? Quote
GAIL - -said she didn't say a thing..liar for me
GAIL - -court case going ahead now
JONNY-I am a court expert . need an advisor ? detective ? witness
GAIL - -she's found an advisor
JONNY-I'll swear Mary was with me
GAIL - -she's guilty for me
GAIL – Goggin always uses fucking
JONNY-fucking not considered an insult in Sicily
GAIL - -in English it is
JONNY-so. She has got and advisor and looking for a lawyer
GAIL - -she spoke in English
JONNY-judge does not speak English
GAIL - -she's got a lawyer friend
GAIL - -she's no witness
JONNY-what was the advice ?
GAIL - -but I bet will find a false one
JONNY-I WOULD witness
GAIL - -don't know any more
GAIL - -she's guilty...why defend her
JONNY-she will guest me chez jasmine at I'll witness whatever
GAIL - -liar too
GAIL - -u r all false
JONNY-I will be her white night
JONNY-lentles for life
GAIL - -big deal
JONNY-I am serious
GAIL - -so am I
JONNY-who can swear I was not with poor Mary?
GAIL - -meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
JONNY--Your honour - Little Mary Goggin and I were walking hand in hand , when this common woman -just passed bye
GAIL - Ggoggin threw out swear words
GAIL - -just like her
JONNY-She started to insult us, the common woman
GAIL - -nooooooooooooo
GAIL - -don't lie
JONNY-she called my poor Mary a Green Bitch
JONNY-true
JONNY-and last but not least
JONNY-she threatened Mary with a second-hand pink unbrella
GAIL - -well that's yr story
JONNY-(during my witness Mary would sob all time )
GAIL - -doesn't sob
GAIL - -no tears
JONNY-tell Goggin to save her money, no advisor, no lawyer
JONNY-I'll fix the court
GAIL - fibber

GAIL: how's the sore throat?

GAIL: drink salt

GAIL: gargle

GAIL: lemon

GAIL: ace

GAIL: vodka

GAIL: spirit

GAIL: ahcohol

GAIL: alcohol

JONNY: Goggin jailed?

GAIL: ahhhhhhhhhhh

GAIL: i'll take her some lentles

JONNY: I couldn't sleep thinking of Goggin in jail

JONNY: we should raise money to offer to that woman's family

JONNY: give latest news

GAIL: don't u know who the woman is?

GAIL: cost u lots to know the answer

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