BUM                                                                                                                                      

►African Tales

Dear President Yar'Adua,

Ranka dede sir. Saanu da aiki sir. I hope this letter finds you well. If so, doxology. I am constrained to write urgently to intimate you with the frustrating conditions I've had to contend with since I assumed duties as Nigeria 's Ambassador to the Republic of South Africa .

 kokorioko OLD MAN ZUBAH SAYS :
If you see a mouse laughing at the cat, there is a hole somewhere .

 ►African Tales...remember when you were very young and I left you sleeping alone in the house and went to the market...? ” My mum smiles into my eyes.
“Mami, I can never forget, that day... but I will never believe that it is the wind that blew away the iron sheet from our roof. Baba Njenga stole it...”

►African Tales.There were many people who didn’t like my dad. Chief on the list, probably with good reasons, was my mom. Then, there were her family.

►Fire drill

She said: “Listen, don’t tell anyone, but there is going to be a surprise fire drill at 11 O’clock tomorrow.”

    Josefina Ekaterinenburg  

                   Anadyr

“Anadyr?” she said and put the keychain into her backpack. In that movement I caught a unexpected glimpse of her hands. They were blue and white, skinny and dry. Not that skinny and dry was a rare combination in those days, neither was blue and white. Everyone was blue veins on white skin in those days, growing thinner and more watery with every day. Yet I had not expected her hands to look like the hands of others. I had thought her to be above the common sufferings of common mortals. “What are you doing here?”

► Russian Stories  

do you speak Italian ? 

Sapodilla

►Sex and Dubai When not out shopping, socializing or getting stylish in the city’s salons, many women turn to the hidden, forbidden, but still pleasurable pastime of carpet munching.

►Crapistan It looks like a giant asshole to me, which is screamingly appropriate.

►Short Stories At the end of the recording, Brother H made no move to turn off the recorder. In fact, he made no move at all.

►Guyana gyal

Guyana-Gyal

    “Yes! What is wrong with you? Why you can’t believe that aliens want to contact earth, eh? Why not Guyana?”
 

►Soviet poster

Work is the curse of the drinking classes

►Vintage Gallery

Why did do you it to me baby?

Rich Arabs

Send your Dream and, insh'Allah, your dream will become a reality.

"Dear Rich Arab, Please hurry, my school grades are bad. If they don't improve I will fail my school year. I can not seem to function and do my homework as my myspace is too busy and I have too many virtual friends. They literally virtually deprive me of real sleep and my Second Life avatar has formed relations with another avatar who is cheating on my myspace persona. I feel jealous and don't know if I can cope. Can you send me money to employ a Bangladeshi to blog for me?"

do you speak Italian ? 

Sapodilla

►Turkmenistan The thing that ate them scared their kids very much. The little girl couldn’t talk after that.

►Crackerlandia

Miss Carnivorous versus the sqatters

Back to the 19th century
On Thursday, Feb. 14, police descended on the Kennedy Road Settlement in Durban and began ripping out electrical hookups. They ripped out pirated service, and they ripped out legal service. They dug up wires that had been run underground.
 

Every day is a holiday for the homeless! Yesterday on the local news they continued an investigation into the homeless encampments in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco. They interviewed a charming drunk, who said "I could get a room in the city but I just love it here."
 

The adventures of  Miss Carnivorous wonderlegs in Crackerlandia.

My Grandma once said to me, "You're nasty, you're nasty all the time".

Weedee peepo.
U dee man.
U asleepo?
Wee u scam!

►Crackerlandia

Ho'k Mimi. No sense of humor. You must be one of those lardassed neocons who needs some serious tubesteak

►Adventures in Crackerlandia

Paula Poundstone on the lil ole sityeeation in Pakistan

"It's hard not to envy a country where they get to hit their lawyers with sticks."

►Adventures in Crackerlandia

Then he walked up to the register we were at and said to the checkout clerk, very politely, "Excuse me sir, but I think this is racist.

►Baghdad by taxi

ZAPPY CORLEONE

A Close Shave

Yesterday Morning.

Ahmed hails a taxi from Al-Shaab District asks the driver to take him to Karrada, Ahmed agrees to the Price the drive asked and pops in.

Just after crossing the ING checkpoints on the Al-Shaab bridge and instead of taking the left exit towards the Army Canal road towards central Baghdad he continues towards the Sleigh.
Ahmed notices and hits the driver on his adam's apple so hard the Taxi driver gets disoriented and slams the brakes, he tries to pull out his gun but Ahmed has managed to throw himself out the car and runs towards the ING checkpoint.

The End.

True... God and his instincts saved him.

it’s so Gucci!!!

►Crocodiles

►Istanbul

Carpetblogger&roy

November 26, 2007
            Turknology

There are a couple useful words some friends and I coined while living in Turkey. Turknology allowed one to jack a broken truck up on wooden blocks, then build a small fire under it so one could see what was broken on the undercarriage. It also allowed you to to plug the telephone wires that come out of the wall into 220v. Then all you have to do go to the ground floor and run a screwdriver over the telephone block until you get big sparks. This is how you identify the correct wires!

I laugh because last week, I finally got the refrigerator fixed. Seriously, it was so hard for me to get the master out I was envisioning life without a refrigerator and thinking it wouldn't be all that bad.

My less-than-year old refrigerator's motor broke. Yes, I know it should have been under warranty. No, I had no clue how to administer the warranty service process.

"JUST FIX IT! I WILL PAY." I could say that.

Two masters arrived with their equipment. Removing and repairing the motor required welding. In my wood kitchen. The kitchen was filled with freon gas and the smell of welding. What could possibly go wrong?

The smoke alarm screeched. The masters looked at me and asked "what's that?"

Also, the master came to fix the leaking skylight/roof. It, too, requiring welding.

Jean Auguste Dominique Ingres
The Turkish Bath 1862