Friday, January 27, 2006
The hurbal
healer
Guyana-Gyal
The other night me and ma been to Neighbour to see the movie,
Mangal Pandey. After the movie done, Neighbour switch on the tv.
Sister ‘Jean’ been on air.
Sister ‘Jean’ got a hurbal treatment show...and a face more pure and holy than
a preacher. She tie up religion with she hurbal treatment.
And just like all them lay preachers, she got a bit of American twang. Sister
‘Jean’ say, “The devil is the cause o’ all illness. You have to chase him by
telling him, ‘You are a liar and a cheat from de pid o' hell. De Pid O’ Hell.’
"
Sister ‘Jean’ show was a live show. A pile o’ women phone in, one after the
other, to seek treatment. They talk soft, soft; they voice tremble, pleading
for help. They sound scared, nervous, vulnerable.
And Sister ‘Jean’ so confident! She know right away what each women problem
was, and she know what they had to drink to cure it.
Woman # 1 complain ‘bout heavy menses.
Sister ‘Jean’ say, “Sometimes all the bad bacteria just gather up there in you
and cause all sorts o' prawblems. You have to wash out the bad bacteria, take
senna pods and Epsom Salts."
[Senna is a laxative.]
“Take this solution once every weekend until the prawblem clears up,” Sister
‘Jean’ say.
Woman # 2 say, “I have a cole in my head and me eyes itching, and the cole
coming through me eyes.”
Sister ‘Jean’ pronounce, “Id is bacteria…” and she went on to explain what
sort o’ solution the woman must make, and the woman must go to see Sister
‘Jean’ too.
To Woman # 3 Sister ‘Jean’ say, “You have to boil...” And she list off three
different herbs, I can’t remember what names she call.
Woman # 3 ask, “Um, how much o’ each I got to boil?”
Sister ‘Jean’ wave she hand and say like a true professional, “Just a liddle
bid o' dis, a liddle bid o' dat, all togedder.”
Woman # 4 say, “I got a cole in me chest since long, long time, it not going.”
Sister ‘Jean’ ask she, “Did you go to see a doctor?”
“No.”
“Go and see a doctor then you might have to come to see me.”
The woman say, “And me is diabetic too.”
Sister ‘Jean’ perk up. She face had the same blank self-righteousness, but I
know she perk up. She sit up more straight and she eyes shine like new coins.
She say, “Okay, NOW you have to come in and see me.”
The woman say thanks and hang up. Then Sister ‘Jean’ launch into a li’l self
promotion. “You will find some people say, oh, Sister Jean is so expensive.
But when you go to the healurs who charge cheap, and you take their medicine,
you will find you are not getting any relief. You come to me and you realise
that the reason I charge more is bekez my treatments works. I treat people
with all sorts of ailments. I have Aids patients who get negative results
within weeks.”
Neighbour who in the medical profession crack up sheself with laugh.
She husband in the medical profession too. I tell he that he getting some
serious competition from this Sister. But he ain’t hear one word I say. He
fall asleep.
Guyana-Gyal
Healer
