Russia
Why Can’t Russian Women Cook?
by copydude
Why Can’t Russian Women Cook?
Russians are busy people and the tough economic climate affords them little
time to indulge the culinary arts. Even Russian restaurants are invariably
closed at lunchtime, since the important daily business of changing money or
selling stolen cars must take precedence.
Throughout history, Russian cuisine has evolved through similar time
constraints. The most famous Russian national dish, ‘Steak Tatar’, isn’t
cooked at all. The Russian national drink of ‘Kefir’ is simply milk left to go
off. While other foodstuffs are hurriedly wrapped in pastry and dropped in
boiling water.
It is only on national holidays, such as May 1 or Victory Day, that Russians
really celebrate eating, when they go to the woods or the riverbank to
barbecue fresh fish or shaslik. Here they improvise fires from low-grade
diesel or old Mercedes car tyres, which gives the food a unique Russian
flavour.
Chefs in
Uzbekistan
The first
thing you notice in Uzbekistan is that the men do the cooking. After Russia,
where the girls either can’t cook or won’t cook, it’s a welcome sign.
When you prepare food, your energy, your soul, goes into a meal. Your vibes
are as pervasive as polonium in a sushi bar. So often in Russia a meal is
prepared by a Babushka who’s been kicked into the kitchen. Which is why FSU
food often tastes like a grudge against society.
A TREATISE ON RICE
Now, you must
use old-fashioned, sticky rice, not the wimpy Uncle Ben’s stuff. Uncle Ben’s
rice is like beautiful women - just too fluffy and precious for serious
applications.
Cooking
