Recipes                                                                                                                                      

DIVERSIONS    Merry Wives

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Gail Fortescue  

Don't hurt the pixies don't collect toadstoods just bike slowly slowly slowly.

collect moss for plants

 

 Can a cricket dance tango?

  Fool, only two crickets can.

 

 Artichoke and parmesan cheese

Ingredients

raw artichokes- good olive oil - salt may be - good parmesan cheese to grate

gail: cleaning articokes. Peeling garlic
dedicris: garlic ? I thought you were crying for me
dedicris: give a recipe for somebody  who  she has to eat raw vegs based dishes for a while
gail : nice, raw artichokesi with scaglie di parmigiano
dedicris:  you just grate Parmesan upon artichokes? that's all?
gail : artichokes and parmesan  plus oil
dedicris: olive oil
gail : clean and slice raw artichokes,  thinnly

gail:  slice parmesan. Scaglie
dedicris: add salt and olive oil
dedicris: END
gail: yes
gail: mushrooms the same
dedicris: raw mushroomssss ?
dedicris: jesus
gail: yesssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
dedicris: we are not Britons
gail: lovely
gail: the Italians eat these veg raw
dedicris: anything with raw zucchine?
gail :you must be from the moon
dedicris: the hidden side of moon
gail : grated raw zucchine and carrots
gail fo: salted and oil
dedicris: must be grated
gail: lovely
gail: eat them in florence
dedicris: not raw
gail: yes raw
gail: you stupid man
gail: dark green  zucchine. You only know pizza

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                                                 HOW TO COOK A SWIMMING FISH

dedicris:   Obelisk Arrives Back To Ethiopia

dedicris: Italians not miser

Gail: fuck off I'm downloading

dedicris: Bill Gates, the man who gave something to download to every woman, to keep them busy.

Gail: good man

Gail: got a trojan virus

dedicris: Trojan ? who do you think you are ? Queen Helen of Menelaus? : you got some dirty bug

Gail: yep

Gail: did some wrong installation

dedicris: did you download some porno?  of course you did.

Gail: nope music line but got a load a mess, mess in net, how do I get rid of it?

dedicris: restart PC first

Gail: loads of ads and pops-up

dedicris: let us see

Gail: daren't touch the stuff

Gail: blackjack

dedicris: delete cookies

Gail: roulette, poker, slots, even come up on my desktop.

dedicris: uninstall what you downloaded

Gail: how do I uninstall?

dedicris: jessusssssssss

Gail: madonnaaaaaaaa

dedicris: control panel, install-uninstall

Gail: little black bugs give damn big bite

Gail: lets see where do I  find them.

dedicris: else,  Programs

Gail: then?

dedicris: may be the fucking thing you downloaded, includes an uninstaller, select and see.

Gail: can't find uninstall only fucking program I wan to uninstall

dedicris: go to Control Panel 

Gail: wait

dedicris: pick Install

 

Gail: install programs ?????????

dedicris: select your thing

dedicris: yep

dedicris: scroll the window and see the fucking thing you just installed 

dedicris: option Uninstall

Gail: thanks my friend

Gail: you are wonderful, big kiss

dedicris: take you kisses for soldiers, give stuff for Strudel. Eehhy    ppssstttt  a bug from the garden approaching your PC

Gail: still trying to uninstall.

dedicris: gulp !!!  what does it say ??? please let me be resident for ever?

Gail: maybe need to finish downloading before I can close, can't get out of this fucking program.

dedicris: can you see a blue sliding bar ?

Gail: grey

dedicris: same, let it work

Gail: it's nearly finished

…………….

dedicris: any decent recipe?

Gail: tisane

Gail: water plus 3 leaves of sage

Gail: drop leaves into boiling water leave to stand for 5 mins. Drink gulpppppppppppppppppp.

Gail: water 3 leaves of mint

Gail: drop into boiling water leave for 5 mins. Drink gulpppppppppppppppppppppppp

Gail: do the same with melissa

Gail: and rosemary

Gail: been doing it for 5 days,  thin as a rake, poisonous as a snake

dedicris: thin as a water melon

 

dedicris: do you drink it hot?

Gail: cool

dedicris: on the rocks

Gail: in a white dish of Dover

dedicris: strange people you Britons. Why don't you use glasses to drink?

Gail: blood cleansing method

dedicris: or cups.

dedicris: I can't drink from a dish

Gail: disintoxicating.

dedicris: I am not a dog

Gail: little dish like cat’s bowl.

Gail: drink it in what you fucking well like

dedicris: it's metempsychosis  stupid

 dedicris: Briton are cats and umbrellas alternatively.

 Gail: beast

dedicris: they can drink from cat's bowl, made in Dover

Gail: installation finished will listen to song then click out

Gail: I am a man whose dreams are deserted

Gail: don't give up

Gail: cause you have a friend

dedicris: download  La Traviata

Gail: the place that I  was born as daylight broke I saw the trees burnt down to the ground, don't give up

Gail: cause somewhere there's a place where we belong

Gail: it's gonna be alright

Gail: when times get ruff

Gail: please don't give up

Gail: gonna stand on that bridge and keep my eyes down below

Gail: that rivers flowing

Gail: move down on to another town tried hard to settle down

Gail: don't give up cause you have friends

Gail: you are  not the only one

Gail: no reason to be ashamed

dedicris: shhutttttttttttttttttt   uuuppppp

Gail: don't give up u still have usssssss

 Gail: bella

Gail: will listen again

Gail: shhhhhhhhhhh

dedicris: all same stuff

Gail: stufffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Gail: don't give up

Gail: ok let’s see if I can't uninstall now

Gail: ok all done

Gail: thanks friend

 

Gail: have you  seen the Chinese cooking fish in water by throwing hot pebbles into water where fish r swimming?

 

dedicris: tell more

Gail: put fish in bowl with herbs let them swim a bit before their death (they die happier)

Gail: then put stinking hot pebbles in water

Gail: they cook to death

dedicris: fuck you (The Fish)

Gail: very succulent

Gail: tasty meal, try it, pebbles are stones from beach .....fool

 dedicris: what kind of fish?

Gail: only fish with Chinese eyes

Gail: small slim fish

dedicris: I am too sensitive to kill a swimming fish with hot pebbles

Gail: use a round pot. Don't ask for any recipes again._

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                                                           SEX IN ESSEX

dedicris: would you write an article for me ? Sex In Sussex  
Gail: sex in Sussex, sex in Middlesex, Sex in Essex
dedicris: and what about the SIX who had Sex in Essex?  reply or die
Gail: die,  kill me little cricket,  if you can catch me, crickets can't swim.
dedicris: I saw you rolling in a nut under the carpet, come out and show your bum.

dedicris: Do not speak when in nut, they will crack the shell fearing the nut is a witch. May day may day, you may cry, .I am bitch not a witch and I will make you rich.
 

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                                                   Artichokes and potatoes

dedicris: biking later, foggy weather
gail : come to sunny sicily
dedicris: nope. Mary Goggin's there
gail: come to chez jasmin. Goggin's B&B
dedicris: can I bring a doll with me ?
gail: of course,  also two,  but you pay four sleeps for the flat
dedicris: four?  for what ? three dolls and I ?
gail: yep, we are beautiful creatures
dedicris: miser Goggin
gail fo: why? only €40 a head
dedicris: I am going to a nice Hotel and will pay for two. I can hardly get and stand one doll
dedicris: give the dayly veg recipe, it's for my website.Vegs are safer then women.

.(Gail opens the website)

gail:  oh no not her again, with her bum in the air
gail: reading
gail fo: ho ho ho
gail fo: what interesting news, ...must call you a few more bad words
dedicris: our cook said raw artichokes I bought were not fresh enough and boiled them
gail:  stupid man ..don't know the difference between fresh and old
gail: I did stuffed artichokes yesterday
dedicris: give another recipe. Readers are in love with you . Single gentlemen will call you
gail fo: cooked with parsley and garlic,  very sof just like butter.
First cut off the tops. Then open them out, stuff with breadcrumbs, grated parmesan, parsley and garlic. Put in pan standing upright, salt pepper and oi little bit of oil. Cookl for 20 mins,  yummmmmmmmmmy.Not flat pan,  need a saucepan.
In spaces between put in raw potatoes.Lovely

dedicris: potatoes need more then 20 min
gail : only need 10 mins you fool, you are nutty
gail: cut potaoes up, cover the pan but not a frying pan. Saucepan small so the artichokes stand up
dedicris: stainless steel saucepan

gail :  whatever. Peel raw potatoes then cut into quarters,  with the raw artichokes....things to do, see you later

   (later)

gail - finished the recipe?

dedicris - recipe NOT finished. Cut potatoes and artichokes...

gail - u don't listen

gail  - not repeating again

dedicris - do you cut artichokes longitudinally? they are supposed to stand upright with potatoes among artichokes. Potatoes do not get cooked  in 20 min or less !!!! you misleading our readers ...Mary Goggin spoiled you

gail - u r rubbish. I said the artichokes are to be stuffed not cut.Only top cut off u fool. Stuffed with garlic parsley.

dedicris - you cut top and stuff parsley and garlic from top

gail - of course

gail  - garlic parsley breadcrubs and parmesan

 

dedicris - garlic parsley breadcrubs and parmesan from top inside the artichoke

gail - anyway u don't understand anything about cooking

dedicris - NOW to potatoes

gail  - ok

dedicris - they take more then half an hour to cook

gail  - peel potaoes cut into 4

dedicris - quarts

gail  - stick between artichokes to help them stay upright

dedicris - good

gail  - fooooooooooooooooooooool

dedicris - you got quick-cooking  potatoes in Mondello

georose1 - potatoes small size boil in 5 mins

georose1 - fooooooooooooooooool

gail   - artichokes u must cook for 10 mins

dedicris - you said 20 min,. cheater

gail - 15 ok

dedicris - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh,. it 's 15 now.Double cheater

dedicris - you must make a sort of a tower , using artichokes and potatoes...

dedicris - how much water?

dedicris - how much water?

dedicris - should cover all artichokes?

dedicris - put artichokes in when 1) water is cold 2) boiling ?

gail - pour water at the side of artichokes not cover.Bring to boil then turn heat down ..cover cook

dedicris -  add salt ?

gail - no salt

dedicris - no

gail - salt in with stuffing

gail - must pack the pan with veg

gail - water and some oil

dedicris - chock-a-block artichoke

gail - olive of course

dedicris - of the best

gail - artichokes then potatoes to fill in gaps

dedicris - buy enough artichokes to pack your pan , this is the trick

gail - no

dedicris - no?

gail - buy 8 or 6

dedicris - buy a new pan to fit the artichokes you bought ?

gail - then pack gaps with potatoes

gail - 6,8,10, 12  artichokes. As many as you like

gail - choose pan for quantity of artichokes

dedicris - got only one, no problem

dedicris - serve hot ? cold ?   add some sauce ?

gail - the water makes the sauce, it boils down to almost nothing

dedicris - did we forget anything ?

gail - pepper

dedicris - black pepper ? shall we add some red pepper

dedicris - what about adding some wine to water ... serve hot or cold?

gail - hot

gail - black pepper or peperoncino

dedicris - I like it hot

gail - ok

gail - or red-peppered olive-oil

dedicris - good

dedicris - eating Parmigiana .... just now

gail - no immagination